Ponyland Follies

AUTHOR'S NOTE: The follow up to my MLP Christmas script. This is in script format, and probably just as zany. Perhaps even zanier since this is a collaboration between me and my sister, Heather! Bits  in this include songs from "Sesame Street," various Muppet programs, the movie "Snoopy Come Home," some sketches from "Animaniacs," and a couple of pop songs.  Sit back, relax, and enjoy!

 

(The Baby Bonnet School of Dance. A bunch of ponies and little woodland creatures gather to see the latest show. Firefly appears on the stage)

 

Firefly: Welcome, Ponies and Friends to our first annual Ponyland Follies! (ponies and friends cheer, and the ones with the proper appendages applaud) Thank you. First on our program is Moondancer!

 

(Firefly walks off stage, and Moondancer walks on. Audience claps and cheers. Moondancer takes a bow, and begins to sing)

 

Moondancer: By the light

Of the silvery moon

I want to spoon

With my honey I'll croon

Love's tune

Honeymoon

Keep on smiling in June

Your love's sweet beams

Will bring love dreams

We'll be cuddling soon

By the silvery moon!

 

(begins dancing to an instrumental interlude. Doesn't even notice Surprise flying in on stage. She looks at the audience and gives them a wink, just as Moondancer starts singing again)

 

Moondancer: By the light

 

Surprise: Not the darkness but the light

 

Moondancer: Of the silvery moon

 

Surprise: Not the sun but the moon

 

Moondancer: I want to spoon

 

Surprise: Not to knife, but to spoon

 

Moondancer: With my honey I'll croon

Love's tune

Honeymoon

 

Surprise: Not the sun but the moon

 

Moondancer: Keep on smiling in June

 

Surprise: Not July but June!

 

Moondancer: Your love's sweet beams

Will bring love dreams

We'll be cuddling soon

 

Surprise: La, la, la, la!

 

Moondancer: By the silvery moon! (audience claps, both Moondancer and Surprise take a bow, but Moondancer turns towards Surprise, mad as a hornet) SURPRISE! WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?!

 

Surprise: Don't you think that was a great surprise?

 

Moondancer: Why I oughta . . . . . (both start shouting at once as Moondancer chases Surprise off the stage.  Firefly soon walks back on.)

 

Firefly:  Uh, thank you Moondancer . . . and Surprise. (Clears throat)  Yeah, uh, next on our program is a scene from Hamlet, presented by Wind Whistler.  (Wind Whistler walks on the stage in a refined manner.  Bubbles  follows her out.)  Translated for those of you who, like Wind Whistler, have no idea what she's saying.  (Wind Whistler shoots Firefly a dirty look while Bubbles stifles laughter.  She then turns to a skull lying on the ground.)

 

Wind Whistler:  Alas, poor Yorik.

 

Bubbles:  Whoa!  Check out the skull!

 

Wind Whistler:  I knew him Horatio, a fellow of infinite jest and most excellent fancy.

 

Bubbles:  He was funny.

 

Wind Whistler:  He hath bore me on his back a thousand times.

 

Bubbles:  He gave me piggy back rides.

 

Wind Whistler:  And now, how abhorred in my imagination it is!  My gorge rises at it

 

Bubbles:  I'm now going to hurl.  (Grimaces) Bleah!  (Wind Whistler then kisses the skull, which makes Bubbles look a bit uncomfortable.)

 

Wind Whistler: Here hung those lips that I have kissed I know not how oft.

 

Bubbles:  We kissed a lot.  Not!

 

Wind Whistler:  Where be your gibes now, your gambles, your songs, your flashes of merriment that were wont to set the table on a roar?

 

Bubbles:  How come you're not funny now?

 

Wind Whistler:  No one now to mock your own jeering?  Quite chop-fallen? (bottom jaw of skull falls to the stage floor)

 

Bubbles:  Nobody's laughing now (Pulls out the bottom part of the skull from the floor)  and by the way, your lower jaw's missing.

 

Wind Whistler:  (Pushing skull away from the stage.)  Now get thee to my lady's chamber and tell her, let her paint an inch thick, to this favor she must come.  Make her laugh at that.

 

Bubbles:  Go find Truly and tell her, no matter how pretty she is, she's still gonna croak and end up looking like you . . . and see how many yuks she gets!

 

Wind Whistler:  (Walking over to Firefly, who came back on stage.)  Prithee Horatio,  tell me one thing.

 

Firefly:  (Looks behind Bubbles, and gets a somewhat panicked look on her face.)  Truly's coming.

 

Bubbles:  What?  (Turns around, and sees a steaming mad Truly standing right behind her.  She gives her a sheepish look, and laughs nervously.)  Hi, Truly.

 

Truly:  (Chasing Bubbles off stage, with him running pretty darn quick.)  Bubbles!  You come back here this instant!

 

Bubbles:  Now, Truly, can't you take a joke!

 

Truly:  I'll teach you how to take a joke!  (Both are soon off stage.  Firefly continues her hosting, looking a bit nervous at the outcome.)

 

Firefly: Now . . . (Stops as she hears a loud BANG from off stage.)

 

Bubbles V.O.:  Ow!  (Truly then comes out with her nose stuck up in the air.  Bubbles follows.)

 

Bubbles: Remind me never to get on her bad side again. (Winces while following the path off stage Truly took.)


Firefly:  Anyway, now we have Masquerade and Gingerbread.  To best buddies with a best buddy type song.  Take it away, gals.

 

Masquerade: Wherever we go

Whatever we do

We're gonna go through it together

 

Gingerbread: We may not go far

But sure as a star
We're gonna go through it together

 

Masquerade: Wherever I go, I know she goes

 

Gingerbread: Wherever I go, I know she goes

 

Both: No fits
No fights

No feuds

And no egos

Amigos

Together

 

Masquerade: Through thick or through thin

 

Gingerbread: All out or all in

 

Both: And whether it's win place or show

 

Masquerade: With you for me

 

Gingerbread: And me for you

 

Both: We'll muddle through whatever we do

Together

Wherever we go

 

(Masquerade and Gingerbread do a small dance number during the instrumental interlude)

 

Gingerbread: Wherever I go, I know she goes

 

Masquerade: Wherever I go, I know she goes

 

Both: No fits
No fights

No feuds

And no egos

Amigos

Together

 

Gingerbread: Through thick or through thin

 

Masquerade: All out or all in

 

Both: And whether it's win place or show

 

Gingerbread: With you for me

 

Masquerade: And me for you

 

Both: We'll muddle through whatever we do

Together

Wherever we go

 

(both take a couple of bows, and walk off stage. Firefly comes back on stage)

 

Firefly: And now, for something for all you animal lovers. Here are Brandy the Dog, and Twinkles the Cat! Your guess is as good as mine.

 

(Brandy and Twinkles come out on stage, and began a little routine, to the tune of "The Blue Danube")

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff!

 

Twinkles: Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff!

 

Twinkles: Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff!

 

Twinkles: Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff!

 

Twinkles: Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff-ruff!

 

Twinkles: Mew, mew! Mew, mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff

 

Twinkles: Mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff

 

Twinkles: Mew!

 

Brandy: Ruff, ruff

 

Twinkles: Mew

 

Brandy: Ruff

 

Twinkles: Mew

 

Brandy: Ruff

 

Twinkles: Mew!

 

(applause and cheering. Brandy and Twinkles bow and walk off stage)

 

Firefly: Wasn't that just precious? (throws Twinkles and Brandy an odd look) Anyway, next up, is something really cute. Oh, it's so cute! The baby ponies!

 

Ember: No matter what life may bring

No matter what I might do

We sure have one special thing

I'm gonna always be loving you

 

Gonna be a movie star

And I'm gonna learn to drive a car

Gonna be a veterinarian too

And I'm gonna always love you

 

I'll be the cutest model you ever saw

Then I think I'll study criminal law

And I'm gonna learn to scuba dive too

And I'm gonna always love you

 

Other Baby Ponies: Mama, Dada, boop-boop sha-wah-wah

Mama, Dada, boop-boop sha-wah-wah

Mama, Dada, boop-boop sha-wah-wah-wah

Wah-wah-wah-ah

 

Ember: Well I'm gonna be a singer, whoa, whoa, whoa

And I'm gonna learn to fly a plane

I'll be a doctor of diseases, and help you with your sneezes

And practice neurosurgery on your brain

 

Gonna climb the Matterhorn

But only after all my children are born

?Cause I want to be a good mommy too

And I'm gonna always love you

 

Other Baby Ponies: Mama, Dada, boop-boop sha-wah-wah

Mama, Dada, boop-boop sha-wah-wah

Mama, Dada, boop-boop sha-wah-wah-wah

Wah-wah-wah-ah

 

Baby Lofty: She's gonna be a movie star

And she's gonna learn to drive a car

She's gonna be a veterinarian too

 

Ember: And I'm gonna always love you-ooh

Oooh, oooh, oooh, oooh

 

Baby Half Note: Well she's gonna be a singer, whoa, whoa, whoa

 

Baby Shady: And she's gonna learn to fly a plane

 

Baby Glory: She'll be a doctor of diseases and help you with your sneezes

 

Baby Lickety-Split: And practice neurosurgery on your brain!

 

Ember: Gonna climb the Matterhorn

But only after all my children are born

?Cause I want to be a good mommy too

And I'm gonna always love yoooooouuuuu

Oooooh-ooooohh-oooohhh-oooh-ooohhh!

Oooohhh-weeee-oooooh-oooohhhh!

 

Firefly:  (As the baby Ponies leave the stage.)  Aw, wasn't that precious.  And now, up next is Gusty and Fizzy, just movin' right along to California.   (A back drop of a highway falls as Firefly leaves, and Gusty and Fizzy come on with Fizzy driving a cardboard car, and Gusty holding a map.)

 

Gusty:  Movin' right along

In search of good time and good news

With good friends you can't lose

 

Fizzy:  This could become a habit

 

Gusty:  Opportunity knocks once

Let's reach out and grab it

 

Fizzy: Yeah!

 

Gusty:  Together we'll nab it.

 

Fizzy:  We'll hitch hike bus or yellow cab it

 

Gusty: (Giving Fizzy a confused look) Cab it?

 

Both:  Movin' right along.

 

Fizzy:  Foot loose and fancy free

 

Gusty:  Getting there is half the fun

Come share it with me.

 

Both:  Movin' right along

 

Gusty: Dug a dun, dug a dun

We'll learn to share the load


Fizzy:  (Throwing Gusty's map away)  We don't need a map to keep this show on the road.

 

Gusty:  Moving right along

We've found a life on the highway

 

Fizzy:  And your way is my way

 

Gusty:  So trust my navigation.

 

Fizzy:  California here we come

That pie in the sky land


Gusty:  Palm trees and warm sand

 

Fizzy:  Though sadly we just left Rhode Island

 

Gusty:  (Very shocked look on her face) We did WHAT!?

 

Fizzy:  Just forget it.  (Back drop changes to a snowy scene with a moose in the background.)

 

Both:  Movin' right along.

 

Gusty: Dug a dun dug a dun

 Hey, LA, where've you gone?

 

Fizzy: Send someone to fetch us, we're in Saskatchewan

 

Both:  Movin' right along

 

Gusty: Dug a dun, dug a dun

You take it, you know best


Fizzy:  Hey, I've never seen the sun come up in the West!?

 

(Musical interlude as the backdrop goes back to being a highway, but this time with palm trees on the side.)

 

Gusty:  Okay, Fizz, head left until you see a fork in the road.

 

Fizzy:  Fork in the road.  Got it.  (They soon pass a giant silver fork in the middle of the road.)  Uh, Gusty.

 

Gusty:  (Shocked look)  I don't believe that!

 

Both:  Movin' right along

 

Fizzy: We're truly birds of a feather

 

Both:  We're in this together


Gusty:  And we know where we're going

 

Fizzy:  Movie stars with flashy cars

And life with the top down


Gusty:  We're storming the big town.

 

(Starts to snow on top of them.)

 

Fizzy:  Yeah, storm is right.  Should it be snowing?

 

Gusty:  Uh, no, I don't think so.

 

Both:  Movin' right along

 

Fizzy:  Do I see signs of men?

 

Gusty: (While passing a Welcome to California sign.)  Yeah, welcome on the same post that says come back again.

 

Both:  Movin' right along.  (Passing a replica of the Hollywood sign.)


Fizzy:  Nice town.

 

Gusty:  Foot loose and fancy free.

 

Fizzy:  You're ready for the big time

 

Gusty:  Is it ready for me?

 

Both:  Movin' right along

Movin' right along

Movin' right along

Movin' right along

 

(Song ends as the cardboard car heads off stage past Firefly.)

 

Firefly: (comes out on stage wearing a tux and carrying a baton)Well, we certainly hope Gusty and Fizzy make it big in Tinsel Town. And now, for the cultural part of our program. Gusty, would you come back here, please?

 

Gusty: (walking out on stage) What do you need, Firefly?

 

Firefly: Just stand there. And now, ladies and gentlemen, the Anvil Chorus.

 

Gusty: The Anvil what?!

 

(The Anvil Chorus starts, with Firefly conducting it, but anvils are crashing on top of Gusty throughout the whole thing. Gusty moans with pain. Audience applauds when the song is over. Firefly bows, and Gusty crawls off stage)

 

Firefly: Thank you, Gusty. (Gusty mutters something illegible as she crawls towards the wings. Firefly does the Double Inside Out Loop, and loses her tux) And now, ladies and gentlemen, next up, our own Medley!

 

Medley: It's not that easy bein' green
Having to spend each day the color of the leaves
When I think it could be nicer being red or yellow or gold
Or something much more colorful like that

It's not easy bein' green
It seems you blend in with so many other ordinary things
And people tend to pass you over 'cause you're
Not standing out like flashy sparkles in the water
Or stars in the sky

But green's the color of Spring
And green can be cool and friendly-like
And green can be big like an ocean
Or important like a mountain
Or tall like a tree

When green is all there is to be
It could make you wonder why
But why wonder, why wonder?
I am green and it'll do fine
It's beautiful!
And I think it's what I want to be

 

(Firefly soon comes back on stage.)


Firefly:  Wasn't that great?  And now, Glory with a song we all know and love.

 

Glory:  We were sailing along

On a moonlight bay

We could hear the voices ringing

They seem to say
You have stolen my heart

Now don't go away

As we sang love's old sweet song on a moonlight bay.

 

(Once again Surprise enters.  She looks towards the audience with a sneaky smile on her face.)

 

Surprise: (Whispering)  It's me again.

 

Glory:  We were sailing along

 

Surprise:  We were sailing along

 

Glory: On a moonlight bay

 

Surprise:  Not the river but the bay


Glory: We could hear the voices ringing

They seemed to say

 

Surprise:  Not to whisper but to say

 

Glory:  You have stolen my heart

 

Surprise:  Not my liver, but my heart

 

Glory:  Now don't go away

 

Surprise:  Don't you ever go away

 

Glory:  As we sang love's old sweet song on a moonlight bay

 

Surprise:  Not the river but the bay

 

Glory:  (Very peeved look on her face.)  SURPRISE!

 

Surprise:  (Sheepish)  Gee, look at the time.  Well I better be flying off now.

 

Glory: (Running after Surprise)  GET BACK HERE! 

 

Firefly: Hopefully, that'll be the last of those for a while.  Okay, up next is Powder, Sparkler, and Twilight with a song about friendship.

 

Powder:  If you're ever in a jam, here I am


Sparkler:  If you're ever up a tree, call on me

 

Twilight:  If you ever feel so happy that you land in jail

I'm your bail

 

All:  It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

 

Powder:  When other friendships have been forgot

 

All:  Ours will still be hot

 

Powder:  If you're ever in a mess, S.O.S.

 

Twilight:  What's that spell?

 

Powder:  Sos

 

Sparkler:  If you ever need a pal,  I'm your gal

 

Twilight:  If I ever take a boat and get lost at sea

Rescue me

 

All:  It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships have been forgit

Ours will still be it

 

Sparkler:  If you're ever down a well, ring my bell


Twilight:  Ding-dong!

 

Powder: If you ever catch on fire

Send a wire

 

Twilight:  (With a wire in her mouth) All right

 

Powder:  Thanks.

 

Twilight:  If you ever lose your teeth when you're out to dine

Borrow mine

 

All: It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships have ceased to gel

Ours will still be swell

 

Twilight:  If they ever black your eyes, put me wise

 

Sparkler:  If they ever cook your goose, turn me loose

 

Powder:  Hey girls . . .

 

Twilight:  What?

 

Powder:  If you ever find your hungry and need some food

I'm your dude . . . . uhh, dudette

 

All:  It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships go down the drain

Ours will still remain

 

Sparkler:  If you ever lose your mind, I'll be kind

 

Twilight:  If you ever lose your shirt,  I'll be hurt

 

Powder:  If you're ever in a fix and can't get out

Give a shout

 

All: It's friendship, friendship

Just a perfect blendship

When other friendships have been forgate

Ours will still be great

 

Firefly: (walks on stage in her tux, carrying the baton, while the orchestra tunes up) And now, for another cultural part of our program. North Star, I need your assistance.

 

North Star: What are you doing, Firefly?

 

Firefly: (ignoring North Star as the Bushwoolies wheel in a large canon) And now, the Eighteen Twelve Overture.

 

North Star: (looking a bit dismayed) Oh dear.

 

(Firefly conducts the number, and the canon goes off in North Star's face every time the song reaches the part where it goes BOOM! When it's over, North Star is completely blackened)

 

Firefly: Thank you, North Star! (North Star trudges off stage, muttering something unintelligible. Firefly shakes off tux) Next up, Sprinkles singing a song about her favorite little friend. And it's not Duck Soup.

 

Sprinkles: Oh Rubber Ducky, you're the one

You make bath time lots of fun

Rubber Ducky, I'm awfully fond of you

 

Boh-boh-boh-de-oh

 

Rubber Ducky, joy of joys

When I squeeze you, you make noise

Rubber Ducky, you're my very best friend it's true!

 

Every day when I make my way to the tubby

I find a little fella who's cute and yella and chubby

Rub a dub dubby

 

Rubber Ducky, you're so fine

And I'm happy that you're mine

Rubber Ducky I'd like a whole pond of

Rubber Ducky I'm awfully fond of you

 

Firefly: Wasn't that cute, folks? Now, let's see . . . . . what's next on the program?

 

4-Speed: How ?bout me, Firefly?

 

Firefly: Didn't you try to come in and sing (sings) Grandma got run over by a reindeer?

 

4-Speed: Well, yeah, but I gotta much better song to sing! Please let me sing, Firefly! You didn't let me sing during the last show!

 

Firefly: Oh, all right. But it better not be anything too corny.

 

4-Speed: It'll be tasteful, I promise. (clears throat)

Doooooeeeees yoooouuuurrr

Chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?
When your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite?

Can ya catch it on your tonsils and heave it left and right

Eh-eh!

Does your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bed post over night!

 

Firefly: GET OFF MY STAGE NOW!

 

4-Speed: Does this mean I can't sing the rest of my song?

 

Firefly: (head butts him off) OUT NOW! And don't come back with another goofy song! Sheesh! Okay, next up, Peachy, Lemon Drop, and Spike the Dragon.

 

Peachy: One, two, three, four, five, six seven

Said the Alligator King to his seven sons

 

Lemon Drop: I'm feelin' mighty down

Whichever of you can cheer me up

Will get to wear my crown

 

Peachy: The first son brought seven oyster pearls

From the bottom of the China Sea

The second gave him seven statues of girls

With clocks where their stomachs should be

 

The third son gave him seven rubies

From the sheikdom of Down There Beneath

The king thought the rubies were cherries

And he broke off seven of his teeth

 

The fourth son tried to cheer him up with seven lemon drops

The king said

 

Lemon Drop: I'm sorry son, but since that ruby episode

I just haven't got the chops!

 

Peachy: The fifth son brought the king perfume

In seven fancy silver jars

The king took a whiff and he broke out in spots

?Cause it smelled like cheap cigars

 

The sixth son gave him seven diamond rings

To wear upon his toes

The king snagged his foot on the royal red rug

And crumpled up his nose

 

The seventh son of the Alligator King

Was a thoughtful little whelp

He said

 

Spike: Daddy, appears to me that you could use

A little help!

 

Peachy: Said the Alligator King to his seventh son

 

Lemon Drop: My son, you win the crown

You didn't bring me diamonds or rubies but

You helped me up when I was down

 

Take the crown, it's yours my son

I hope you don't mind the dents

I got it on sale at a discount store
Cost me all of seven cents!

 

All: Seven!

 

Firefly:  Wasn't that a nice song.  Up next is Bow-Tie and Applejack singing another song about . . . you guessed it, friendship.  This seems to be a common theme here.

 

Bow-Tie:  Me and you

A two girl crew

Side by side we're unified

And we won't ever be divided

Win or lose

We go in twos

We're the best of buddies me and you

 

Applejack:  We've got good vibes

Our friendship jives

In our close united status

Who could ever separate us

And what's more

We're in the fore

We're the best of buddies me and you

 

Bow-Tie:  Harmony is where it's at

And where it's at for you is where it's at for me

 

Applejack:  Share and share alike

That's all about

And what it's all about is human livity

 

Bow-Tie:  Me and you

A two girl crew


Applejack:  If the going gets too gruesome

We can make it as a twosome

Lose or win

 

Bow-Tie:  Sink or swim

We're the best of buddies, buddy

 

Applejack:  We're the best of buddies

 

Both:  We're the best of buddies

Me and you

 

Firefly:  Wasn't that a great song?  And now another one of Shakespeare's silouquies by Wind Whistler.  (Once again, Wind Whistler walks on stage followed by Bubbles.)  Translated once again by Bubbles for those of you, like Wind Whistler,  have no idea what she's talking about.

 

Wind Whistler:  Hmph! (Bubbles laughs)  If we shadows have offended, think but this, and all is mended

 

Bubbles:  If the players in our show made you mad, it'll be okay if you look at it this way.

 

Wind Whistler:  That you have but slumbered here while these visions did appear.

 

Bubbles: You fell asleep on your butt, and dreamed the whole thing.

 

Wind Whistler:  And this weak and idle theme, no more yielding but a dream.

 

Bubbles:  There was a hole in the plot you could drive a truck through.

 

Wind Whistler:  Gentles, do not reprehend.

 

Bubbles:  Ladies, don't blame us, you could be watching As the World Turns, or something.

 

Wind Whistler:  If you pardon, we will mend.

 

Bubbles:  But we're sorry, and we promise our next show will be full of funny skits.

 

Wind Whistler:  And, as I am an honest Puck.

 

Bubbles:  I'm not touching that one.

 

Wind Whistler:  If we have unearned luck now to scape the serpent's tongue.

 

Bubbles:  What she said.

 

Wind Whistler:  We will make amends ere long.

 

Bubbles: (Pulling out a rather long hotdog complete with bun, mustard, and relish.)  We'll buy you foot long hotdogs

 

Wind Whistler:  Else the Puck a liar call, so goodnight unto you all

 

Bubbles:  (Kissing hoof, and tossing it out) Good night everybody!

 

Wind Whistler:  Give me your hands if we be friends.

 

Bubbles:  Applaud if you like us.

 

Wind Whistler:  And Robin shall restore amends.

 

Bubbles:  (Putting on a Batman cowl.)  And the Boy Wonder will save us.  (Runs off singing the Batman theme.) 

 

Firefly:  Uhhhh, yeah.  Lord, what fools these ponies be! Who comes up with these wacky translations anyway? Oh yes! (rushes off stage, and comes back in her tux, and the Bushwoolies begin tuning up in the orchestra pit) And now, another cultural part of the program. Shady, would you mind helping me here?

 

Shady: What do you need?

 

Firefly: Just stand there. (turns to the audience) And now, Bizet's "Carmen."

 

Shady: Huh? ("Carmen" starts, and bulls fall on top of Shady. The "Toreador" part starts, and Shady thinks she gets a reprieve) Whew! I'm glad that's over. (music begins to pick up) Oh no. (more bulls fall as the song finishes)

 

Firefly: Thank you, Shady.

 

Shady: (dazed) Anybody get the license number of that milk truck? (staggers off stage)

 

Firefly: (glances at Shady, and smiles at the audience) Okay, next up, Cotton Candy,  with Gingerbread, Sweet Stuff, and Fizzy singing a song that's guaranteed to make you hungry.

 

Ponies:  Candy man

Hey Candy man

 

Cotton Candy:  Who can take a sunrise?

 

Ponies:  Who can take a sunrise

 

Cotton Candy:  Sprinkle it with dew

 

Ponies:  Sprinkle it with dew


Cotton Candy:  Cover it in chocolate and a miracle or two

The candy man

 

Ponies:  The candy man

 

Cotton Candy:  The candy man can

 

Ponies:  The candy man can

 

Cotton Candy:  The candy man can cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good

 

Ponies:  Make the world taste good.

 

Cotton Candy:  Now, who can take a rainbow

 

Ponies:  Who can take a rainbow

 

Cotton Candy:  Wrap it in a sigh

 

Ponies:  Wrap it in a sigh


Cotton Candy:  Soak it in the sun and make a groovy lemon pie

The candy man

 

Ponies:  Candy man

 

Cotton Candy:  The candy man can

 

Ponies:  The candy man can

 

Cotton Candy:  The candy man can cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good


Ponies:  Makes the world taste good


CC w/Ponies:  The candy man makes everything he bakes
Satisfying and delicious


Cotton Candy:  Talk about your childhood wishes

You can even eat the dishes

Oh who can take tomorrow

 

Ponies:  Who can take tomorrow


Cotton Candy:  Dip it in a dream


Ponies:  Dip it in a dream


Cotton Candy:  Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream

The candy man

 

Ponies:  Candy man


Cotton Candy:  Oh, the candy man can

 

Ponies  The candy man can


Cotton Candy:  The candy man can cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good

 

Ponies:  Makes the world taste good

The Candy man makes everything he bakes

Satisfying and delicious


Cotton Candy:  Oh now you talk about your child hood wishes

You can even eat the dishes

Yeah, yeah, yeah, who can take tomorrow

 

Ponies:  Who can take tomorrow


Cotton Candy:  Dip it in a dream


Ponies:  Dip it in a dream


Cotton Candy:  Separate the sorrow and collect up all the cream

The candy man

 

Ponies:  Candy man


Cotton Candy:  Oh, the candy man can

 

Ponies:  The candy man can


Cotton Candy:  The candy man can cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good

 

Ponies:  Makes the world taste good

 

Cotton Candy:  Yes, the candy man can cause he mixes it with love

And makes the world taste good


Ponies:  Makes the world taste good

 

Cotton Candy:  Ah candy man, ah candy man, candy ma-a-a-an

 

Ponies:  Makes the world taste good

 

Cotton Candy:  Ah candy man ah candy man

 

Firefly:  Aw, now I have a chocolate craving. Next up, Lofty, with some assistance from Baby Lofty.

 

Lofty: You got baby eyes and baby toes

A baby face and a baby nose

Oooh-ooohh-woo-woo-wooo

You're my baby, my beautiful baby

 

You've got baby ears and a baby chin

Baby size are the clothes you're in

Oooh-ooohh-woo-woo-wooo

You're my baby, my beautiful baby

 

You've got baby smiles

You've got baby wiles

You always wear those pretty baby styles

You're my B-A-B-Y

 

You've got a baby mouth and baby cheeks

And when you talk, you talk baby speech

Oooh-ooohh-woo-woo-wooo

You're my baby, my beautiful baby

 

(whistles an instrumental interlude)

 

You wear baby hats and baby shoes

You're pretty as a picture in the baby news

You're my B-A-B-Y

My beautiful baby

My beautiful baby

 

Firefly: (along with the audience) Awwwww! Now wasn't that the cutest thing you ever did see? Okay, we're nearing the end of the program here. And I think what we'll do is . . . . . (glances over, and sees Gusty, North Star, and Shady glaring at her) Uhh, why are you guys looking at me like that? (Gusty marches over and puts an apple on Firefly's head) What's this for?

 

Gusty: Just stand there. (orchestra begins to tune up) And now, for our final cultural part of the program . . . .

 

North Star: May we proudly present . . . . .

 

Shady: The William Tell Overture. (Gusty, North Star, and Shady pick up arrows, and aim them at the apple sitting on Firefly's head, as the beginning starts)

 

Firefly: Why are you looking at me like that? Guys? Guys? Oh no! (The chase is on! Gusty, North Star, and Shady chase Firefly around the stage with their arrows) Hey come on, you guys, can't you take a joke?! (towards the end of the whole chase, the three of them throw their arrows. They miss the apple, and hit Firefly right in the rump) YEEEEEOOOOOOUUUCCCHHH! (Gusty, North Star, and Shady take a bow)

 

Gusty: That is what is known as Sweet Revenge. Get the point?

 

Firefly: (yanking an arrow out of her rump) Yeah, I get the point all right. Ouch! (pulls remaining arrow out, turns to the audience, and sighs) And that concludes the Ponyland Follies. Good night.

 

The End