Sweet Stuff and Spike were sitting by the pool one morning and looking at a school book that Megan had left behind the other day. The book had a listing of all the great movies in the past century, including "The Wizard of Oz" and "E.T."
"I wish we could see these movies," Spike said.
"I do, too," Sweet Stuff said. "Let's read a little more about them."
The two of them looked through the book a little while longer. Then they decided to show the others. The other ponies enjoyed looking through the book.
"Maybe we should make our own movie," Fizzy said.
"How are we going to do that?" Gusty asked. "We don't have a camera or an idea!"
"I know!" Magic Star said. "Wind Whistler can come up with the story and we can get Danny to bring a camera and film it!"
"I think that excogitating a cinema verite is going to be a bit difficult," Wind Whistler said.
"What did she say?" Shady asked.
"She said it might be hard to write a movie," Gusty said.
"Is that what she said?"
Nonetheless, Wind Whistler got to work writing the movie. However, the ponies got Megan, Danny, and Molly to come to Ponyland to help them out. Wind Whistler dictated the movie, Gusty translated it, and Megan wrote it down on paper. Once it was finished, they gave it to Magic Star, who was going to be the director, to read through it. She read through it, muttering "mm hmm" under her breath.
"I'm curious, though," she said. "How come all the characters are listed Hero, Villain, and Damsel in Distress?"
"That'll be your job to fill in who's who," Gusty replied.
Magic Star nodded and got to work figuring out who would star in the movie. After awhile, she chose Buttons as the Damsel in Distress, Slugger as the Hero, and Score as the Villain. Then Truly and Heart Throb came up with the costumes. It was a simple process. They gave Score a black hat and cape and even a fake mustache.
"How do I look?" he asked Gusty.
"Kinda like Snidely Whiplash in the Dudley Do-Right cartoons," Gusty replied. "Perfect!"
Truly and Heart Throb figured out sort of a Nell Fenwick costumes and a Canadian Mountie for Slugger (they were doing a Dudley Do-Right theme, even though they were using their own names). After a few days, Danny took an old movie camera the four ponies onto the "set" that Lickety Split, Gusty, Fizzy, and the Bushwoolies built. They were getting ready to shoot their movie.
"I'm ready for my close up, Ms. Director," Score said.
"What a ham," Gusty muttered.
"Okay, you guys all know the script, right?" Magic Star asked. The stars nodded. "Just in case, however, Glory, Bubbles, and Locket have the cue cards if you need them. Okay, let's shoot a movie! Lights! Camera! And action!"
The movie started simply enough. They did run across some mayhem, however. I'm not going into detail about the filming. I want you readers to be surprised.
After a week, the film was finally finished. Danny and Magic Star edited it all night. The big screening was the next day. Everyone couldn't wait to see what was going to happen.
"Attention!" Paradise shouted, to the other ponies, who were all talking at once. "May I have your attention, please? Hello?"
"I'll handle this," Gusty said. "HEY EVERYBODY PIPE DOWN! CAN'T YOU SEE WE'RE TRYING TO SHOW A MOVIE HERE?!"
That shut every pony up.
"They're all yours," Gusty said, walking down to her seat in the audience, leaving Paradise somewhat bewildered.
"Uh, thanks, Gusty," Paradise said. "Presenting the world premiere of 'In the Good Old Summer Time' thought up and dictated by Wind Whistler, transcribed by Gusty, written by Megan, directed by Magic Star, filmed by Danny, costumes by Truly and Heart Throb, set by Lickety Split, Gusty, Fizzy, and the Bushwoolies, starring Buttons, Slugger, and Score, cue cards by Glory, Bubbles, and Locket, projection by Tex, screen provided by Megan, Danny, and Molly, piano playing by Spike the dragon, and based on Dudley Do-Right created by Jay Ward."
"Hey, Paradise!" Cherris Jubilee shouted. "Why are you telling us the credits?"
"Because Magic Star and Danny forgot to put them in the movie," Paradise answered.
"Sorry," Magic Star said.
"Now without further ado," Paradise said, "Ponyland Productions presents 'In the Good Old Summer Time'."
Everyone cheered as the lights dimmed. Tex started the projector and the movie came on. It started out in the field. Buttons was picking flowers and putting them into a basket.
"La, la, la, la-la," she sang. "It's such a beautiful moorrrrning!"
The audience giggles. Buttons was way off key. She continued to pick flowers and prance around the field, not having a care in the world. Slugger came into the scene, in his Dudley Do-Right suit, and galloped up the Buttons.
"Well, howdy there, little lady," he said. The audience laughed. He sounded a lot like John Wayne.
"Howdy there yourself, Mountie," Buttons said.
"I just came to warn you about the pony in the black hat," Slugger continued (still talking like John Wayne). "He's going around making ponies give him the deed to their ranches."
"Oh goodness! I'd better go protect my ranch! Good bye, Royal Canadian Mountie!"
"Good bye, lady!"
The audience laughed. Buttons and Slugger galloped off in their own separate directions. The scene cut over to Buttons on her "ranch," pulling the petals off a daisy with her teeth, envisioning the "he loves me, he loves me not" gag. Then she heard something gallop toward the ranch house.
"Hark!" she shouted. "That must be the handsome Royal Canadian Mountie! I am coming, oh handsome Royal Canadian Mountie!"
Every single pony laughed at the corny dialogue. Apparently, Gusty made some rewrites when Wind Whistler wasn't aware of it.
Buttons opened the door to her ranch house and gasped.
"You're not the handsome Royal Canadian Mountie!" she shouted.
"Nya-ha-ha!" Score laughed, taking his hoof and twisting his mustache.
"What a ham," Gusty whispered to Shady.
"I am here for the deed to your ranch!" Score shouted. "This ranch shall be mine!"
"Never! I'll never give up the deed to my ranch!" Buttons shouted.
"Oh no? I'll make you, then! Nya-ha-ha!"
Score pulled a rope out of his cloak and lassoed Buttons. Then he dragged her to the "sawmill." He managed to tie her to a log.
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'll saw you in half!" he shouted.
"I'll never give you the deed to my ranch, you cad!" Buttons shouted.
"You're call, toots."
That was definitely one of Gusty's lines! Score turned on the saw and Buttons inched for it.
"Oh! Oh somebody puh-leese save me!" she shouted.
Then a trumpet sounded (da-da-da-da da-da!) and Slugger appeared from out of nowhere.
"I'll save you!" he shouted (he had dropped the John Wayne bit). He ran over to the "sawmill" and head butted Score. He fell down the hill.
"Ahhhh!" he shouted. "This is over yet, Mountie!"
Slugger then turned off the saw and untied Buttons. She jumped off the log and over to Slugger.
"Thank you, oh handsome and brave Royal Canadian Mountie!" she shouted.
"No problem," Slugger said.
"You deserve a reward!"
Buttons leaned in to give Slugger a kiss but she was lassoed by Score again.
"Eek!" Buttons shouted. "I have been lassoed by the bad guy again!"
"Remind me to speak to Gusty about the rewrites," Magic Star whispered to Wind Whistler.
"I warned you this wasn't over, Mountie!" Score said. "Nya-ha-ha!"
"Help, help, help, help," Buttons said as Score dragged her around.
The ponies laughed at Buttons lack of enthusiasm. The next stop of Score's plot to get Buttons's ranch was the "abandoned mine." Score had Buttons tied to a beam with dynamite at her hooves.
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'll blow this mine and you to kingdom come!" he shouted. "Mwa-ha-ha-ha-ha!"
"No! No, I will never give you the deed to my ranch, you scoundrel!" Buttons shouted.
"Have it your way, baby."
Another one of Gusty's rewrites. Score lit the dynamite and ran.
"Bye-bye!" he shouted.
Buttons tried to free herself by trying to blow the fuse out. When she couldn't do that, she began to try the next best thing.
"Oh somebody save me!" she shouted. "Save me, save me before I am blown to kingdom come! Help, help, save me!"
"I'll save you!" Slugger said, running into the mine. He had a hose between his teeth and managed to put out the fuse, by having the hose "magically" spout out water.
"Who turned on the hose?" Shady asked Magic Star.
"I did," Magic Star replied.
Shady nodded and looked back at the movie. Slugger untied Buttons and the two of them walked out of the mine. Buttons was about the kiss Slugger again, and was lassoed again.
"So long, Mountie sucker!" he shouted and he was off.
"Save me, save me, save me," Buttons said.
Again, the audience was laughing at the lack of enthusiasm. This time, Score's attempt was the classic tie-the-girl-to-the-railroad-tracks bit.
"If you don't give me the deed to your ranch, I'll let the train squash you flatter than a pancake!" he shouted.
"I'll never give you the deed to my ranch, you fiend!" Buttons shouted.
Score ran off. A few moments later, a train was coming. Buttons began screaming at that point.
"Save me!" she shouted. "Save me! Won't somebody please save me!"
"I'll save you!" Slugger shouted. He ended up stopping the train with his head. Score ran out of the train and up the Slugger.
"Hey, what'd you do that for?!" he shouted. "I wanted to make a pony pancake out of her!"
"Not while I'm around, pilgrim!"
Slugger went back to his John Wayne impression. He and Score started a fight. In the end, Score ended up tied to the railroad tracks.
"Curses!" he shouted. "Foiled again!"
"My hero!" Buttons shouted, giving Slugger a big kiss. Slugger blushed.
"Aw shucks," he said. "'Tweren't nothin'."
The movie was over. The lights came back on and Magic Star walked up to the stage.
"Well, everybody," she said. "What did you think?"
"Don't expect this thing to win best directing!" Masquerade shouted. "Or best acting, or best anything!"
By the next day, nobody gave Magic Star an easy time about the movie. They talked about it whenever she came near a pony.
"Next time I want to do a movie," she said. "I won't tell anybody."
AUTHOR'S NOTE: For the premiere of the movie, I relied heavily on an oldie titled "Along Came Jones" by the Coasters.